One Week Done - time to start the blogging!

My husband suggested that I blog about my journey and I thought it might be a good idea.  So, here it goes.

I'm currently 33 years old.  I have a host of medial issues and I am very over weight.  This has always caused some problems with self esteem however as I get older I have become more accustomed to being this way.  I have struggled since I was 17 years old with losing weight and I quite litterally blew up over night.  

I have depression (bi-polar) and anxiety; when I was 17 I was commited to the psychiatric ward of the local hospital for repeated attempted  suicide.  While in there I was started on some pretty serious medication which had the side effect of rapid weight gain.  After being released from that hell I continued on medication and one day I looked at myself and realized I was a lot bigger than a few weeks before.  

I have tried any diet that I could afford, often piggybacking on my friends' diets so that I could benefit from the kowledge and not pay for the service.  I don't eat a lot of junk food (unless I'm menstrating) and I don't drink pop 99% of the time.  I only get it as a treat every once in a while.  I drink pleanty of water every day.  

I have fibromyalgia which I have learned is the cause of my carb dependancy.  I NEED carbs like bread, pasta, rice, crackers.  I have tried more than once to cut out carbs and I don't even want to be around MYSELF when I have done it.  So many people tell me it gets better after the first week; you have to give time for your body to detox.  I say shut up and pass me the buns!

When I started this journey I decided that I would try my hardest until the end of April 2013, even purchased a membership to a local pool for the month.  If I don't see results at the end of April that make me happy, I'm on my way to talk to my doctor about surgery options.

At the end of week one I am miserable.  Absolutely miserable.  And I binged.

I'm told that everyone ends up doing it.  I'm told that I shouldn't worry too much and just keep at it.  One day was not good but I can still meet my goals.  None of this makes me feel any better about it.  Especially since my body didn't take to the junk I put in it and decided to poop it all out before bed.  Quickly.  With some minor burning.  Eww.

Eating healthy to lose weight requires me to:

• consume a MINIMUM of 1200 calories a day

• consume a MAXIMUM of 1540 calories a day

• chose healthy foods with plenty of vegetables and lean meat

The issues I have with this plan are:

• I am often not hungry enough to consume a full 1200 calories a day

• occasionally I am so famished that 1540 calories is not nearly enough (eg. mentration)

• the few vegetables I enjoy are either super high in carbs and not reccomended for me to eat (due to a need to reduce carbs) or they are so low in calories that I can't manage to get up to my 1200 calories!

It is an extremely difficult thing to balance for a person who is used to eating whatever whenever.

So, I plan to continue as I promised myself I would.  My body has until the end of April.  Better have results by then or I'm going to be very unhappy.