Night time with an ADHD-Aspie-Gifted-Pubesent daughter

GO AWAY!
DD was very against me going into her bedroom as we were preparing her for bed tonight.  This, of course, makes my mommy-sense tingle.  I went into her room wondering what I would find and saw that a sweater was on the floor trying to cover up some water spill.  She is not allowed to have food or drink in her bedroom.  There is a bottle of water or a cup on the bathroom counter for her if she needs a drink in the night.   She leaped onto her bed and curled up over her pillow.  *tingle, tingle*  I got DH to pick her up to give her a big hug while I snuck in for the search.  Sure enough, in her pillow case, was a little stash of contraband.  A few toys that were supposed to be put away, a whole bunch of little plastic pieces of a toy that she had taken apart and collected the shiny bits like a raven and the thing she really didn't want us to know about; the chocolate bar wrapper.  Now found out she screams for us to get away from her, to go away and to shut up.  (Yes, we let her get away with saying that.)

DON'T YOU DARE PUT MUSIC ON!
Our coping is to put music on, walk outside or medicate.  If we go outside lately she starts to panic and scream and cry.  She has serious abandonment issues, too many of the peripheral people in her life have left her.  DH picked up the remote and quietly told me he was going to put music on, confirming that I was okay with that.  That was when her screaming became actual words.  "Don't you DARE put music on!"  She does that 'don't you DARE' stuff a lot. As soon as the sound came on the screaming got much worse.  I explained to my DH that she has snapped and completely lost control of herself.  She has gone from our DD to our AUTISTIC DD and the music is making it worse.  It's overstimulating the child that has snapped because she was overwhelmed already.  He agreed, turned it off and let me know he was going to close her bedroom door though.  It is standard here that if you keep screaming you will have to have your door closed.

OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!
DH reminded her if she kept screaming her door would need to be closed.  She kept screaming at him to leave her alone and just be quiet.  And this time, she did say 'be quiet' since last time there was no reaction to 'shut up'.  Don't you dare close my door came next, shortly after the door closed there was the banging and screaming and kicking.  Then something different happened; she started to panic.  She started to cry out that she was scared and DH opened the door.  She lunged into his arms and clung to him crying.  She kept saying that she doesn't want to be alone.  She is scared to be alone.  When the door closes she is too alone.

After a bit of snuggles she climbed into her bed and under the covers, meltdown over, she's reading a book before lights out.

This used to be a regular night for us.  Years ago when we did not have the knowledge that we have now.  Except it used to be a lot worse.  The screaming would go on for at least half an hour, we would scream at her and each other.  Sometimes there would be spankings, objects hurling, holes in walls, broken doors.  There were times that I didn't think that we would last.  What marriage can persevere through this? Was a regular thought.  I thought my daughter would never succeed in life because I was not a good enough parent to teach her respect.  I worried that she would grow up to be a selfish bitch that no one really liked.  I don't anymore.  I know she will be an amazing woman because she has grown into an amazing girl.

Not getting poked by the Wang.

A local Chinese MD & acupuncturist is Dr Wang, I'm a new patient of his.  Taking steps to make my body healthier I called him this weekend and booked an appointment for this morning.  I like him.  He's got a nice firm handshake.  He is concerned with my health and has started me on a herbal concoction for the next week to detox my body.  He said I am very toxic and my organs do not work properly.  My tongue is very healthy though, LOL.  He is billing everything under acupuncture treatment because my insurance covers acupuncture.  He also have me 60% off of my assessment.  YAY!  it will be interesting to see if I feel any different after the first week of Chinese Herbal Medicine.

Weight Loss

I forgot to update when I reached another goal; 25 pounds have been lost so far!  I had to buy new pants because none of mine fit anymore.  My wedding ring is loose too.  I'm excited!

Short Update

Hello everyone.  I'm alive and unwell.

After having the cryoablation on my cervix a couple weeks ago I caught a cold.

I'm tired and not up for much of anything so the blogging has been slow.  Sorry.

Medical Update

This might be a bit too much for some, so be warned.

Yesterday I had day surgery, cervical cryoablation.  There was no anesthetic though, and with the fibro the pain kept getting worse well past the time the doctor said it should have leveled out.  Dealing with the after effects of this procedure is not something I want to go  into too much detail about.  Lets just say....ewwww....and leave it at that.

It was before the doctor went in that I learned something new.  His prognosis; PCOS.  That is the abbreviation for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.  I feel like I might be some nefarious higher powers' beta test.  How much can one woman handle?  How many things can I load onto her before she breaks?

The list so far:
Depression (multiple kinds I've been told)
Anxiety
IBS
Fibromyalgia
Knock Knees
Arthritis
Acid Reflux
Extreme Light Sensitive
Chronic Post Nasal Drip
Tinnitus
ADHD
Headaches/Migraines
Costochondritis
Hemroids
and welcome PCOS!

The sad thing is that this is by no means a complete list of the "issues" with my body medically.  They are simply the ones that are basically separate medical conditions of their own.

Fantastic Man

I married the most wonderful man. Sometimes he doesn't show it but today he screamed it out with his actions.
I spent the day out with a dear friend whom I have missed spending time with. We went to lunch, did some window shopping and relaxed at her home while petting dogs and cats.
When I got home I was surprised to find most of our laundry done, most of the dishes cleaned and a generally clean and tidy home. That was an amazing feeling. I'm so grateful for his unwavering support. He does so much for us, even have the kiddo a bath.
And the biggest relief for me was the cage for our recently departed pet rat had been dismantled, cleaned and disposed of so that I did not have to see it around anymore.
I'm feeling lucky today!

Depression Sucks

I look around me at the mess and I have no will to do anything about it. I've been sad and tense all day and now the one thing that was making me feel better has fallen through.
I was invited to a gathering of people from DH's work and I was really looking forward to going. Had a shower and got dressed in a nice shirt and jeans (hubby loves me in jeans). Even did my hair nice and put on make up.  That's a lot for me, it takes spoons to do all of that and I tend to be greedy with my spoons when I have them. It's how I've survived.
Went to start my car and it seemed to be okay, a little stiff to turn but then okay and then stiff again. The snow was holding little half frozen puddles of fluid from my car. I'm assuming it's power steering fluid. Which is funny since I just had the power steering repaired a couple weeks ago.
I'm so stressed out with this dammed car!