I've found it very difficult to write about my journey lately. Most of what I want and need to write about is stuff that falls under the category of either "the world doesn't need to know" or "it will hurt people I love". So, I'm stuck keeping it inside and trying to find another way.
I feel very rejected and unwanted right now. And it's hard to deal with. It makes me angry. I don't know how to deal with it without making it worse for everyone. And it hurts inside. I can feel the pressure over my heart, I ache there. I think because I want only to be loved and being rejected hurts me deeply.
I'm very glad for my close friends and my family that loves me.
Other than that things have been busy for me. I'm very tired and have decided not to take any assignments like this one again. I don't want to work 9 hour days at a place where I can't leave my desk to go pee or get a coffee from the break room without calling in for back up! I loved working at the Doctor's office. I'd do that again in a heartbeat.
Two year anniversary coming up. Not going to get what I want for it. But I won't just tell him outright what I want, he wouldn't get me that anyway if I told him. I hope he likes what I got for him. I'm sure he will. I bet he might even tear up a bit. We plan to have a little dinner out on Tuesday after work. Just the two of us. It will be nice.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone
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