No clue what to do

DD, no food in your bedroom.  If you bring food into your bedroom you will be punished (punishment changes regularly as one thing doesn't work so we move on to something more serious for her).  You brought that food into your room so you have to clean it up.  She is now 10 years old.  When she is in a good mood she will wash, dry and put away small amounts of dishes.  She will sweep the kitchen, clean the neighbours cat litter, clean the pet cage, hold with laundry.  There are so many things she will do when she feels like it.  But today wasn't one of the good days.  She was asked to clean up the food in her room and she has a complete meltdown.  She nearly makes herself sick with her episodes.
So what are you supposed to do in times like this?  When my daughter is screaming at the top of her lungs, refusing to do anything that is asked of her including (but certainly not limited to) drinking some water, wiping herself after using the bathroom, brushing her teeth or putting a piece of old bagel into the garbage.  What EXACTLY am I supposed to do?  Because staying calm is getting harder every day.  Because closing her door and letting her scream and pound the shit out of it isn't working.  Telling her this behavior isn't acceptable isn't working!  How much can we take of this before we just give up?

Gluten Free - more or less

I went about 4 or so months 100% gluten free.  Since I'm not celliac I don't have to worry about cross contamination that much (I did find out that if I cook eggs in the same frying pan as I just cooked a loaf of wheat bread french toast I get stomach cramps) so I don't worry about buying the oats that are certified gluten free.

Anyway, after a good time off of it I was bad and I ate a large portion of lasagna.  It was an alfredo chicken one and cold at the time.  It was also totally awesome.  I was over emotional that day and no one was around to stop me.  I regretted it for the rest of the weekend.  My stomach felt awful and I got a bit of heartburn as well.  Every once in a while since then I take a bite of something with gluten in it.  Bread, muffin, bagel; a bite doesn't cause any serious issue for me.  Sometimes heartburn or a bit of bloating.  But one thing I have noticed was that the flavour just isn't the same any more.  I actually don't like it.  I don't know what it is but it just tastes wrong.

I have a few recipes that I'm going to share eventually because I love them and they are super easy to make.  But one thing that I am not too fond of so far is the Robin Hood flour blend.  I find it gives the end products a grainy texture I don't get with a simple white rice/corn starch blend.  But before I get around to posting the recipes I will leave you with some gluten free things that I have found tasty over the last months.

Dempsters Gluten Zero Whole Grain bread.  OH MY GAWD!  That stuff makes the best gluten free toast I have had, and I have tried a lot.  Toast is one thing I do not like to live without and now I don't have to!

Wild Roots Tortilla chips with kale and flax.  If anyone knows where I can buy these I would be very grateful.  They used to sell them at my local Costco but they no longer carry them.  I considered cancelling my membership over it those things are so freaking good!  Even my super picky daughter loved them.  She'd do chores just to be allowed to eat a few!

Cheetos Crunchies.  Did you know they are gluten free?  Mmmmmmm....so bad for me but still so good!

Back from the depths of despair

In other words, I finally cleaned my disaster of an office, dug out my laptop and am ready to dive into the blogging world again.

YAY!

So much has happened and I hope to touch on some of them at a later time.  For now I must keep this short.  I have an injured finger that makes typing very difficult.

I am now nearly at the -50lbs mark!  that's right, I have lost a total of 45lbs since I started this blog.  I've had a lot of ups and downs but I am happy to be back on track. It was the end of July 2014 that I made the decision to go gluten free and I have more or less stayed that way.  I'll talk more about that later as well.

Spiritually speaking I am moving forward.  It's slow right now but it is the right direction.

My DD is growing up and learning more.  I feel like we have made some progress with her.  My DH is amazing.  So much has happened with us and we are stronger than ever!

Namaste

Kraft Dinner is a succubus

Evil temptress! KD is not gluten free.  This makes me sad.  DD wanted it for dinner tonight since she hasn't had it in a while. I wanted it so very badly. I had this urge to shove her out of her chair and put the bowl of delicious cheesy noodles into my mouth. Screw the spoon! Fling the fork! This craving was a primal urge I could feel tingling all over my body.

Damnit I want gluten!!!!

Gluten free for 2 days.

Today marks day 6 of my attempt at detoxing my body from gluten. I think it will help some of my health issues and it is definitely worth trying if I can manage it.  Last time I lasted 3 days before I was hating myself. Not having my pasta and toast and crackers makes me grumpy.

This is day two being completely gluten free. The first 4 days was a slow reduction in gluten. Now I'm free of it. How long can I make it?

Computer issues: posting via phone

I'm using a talk to text application in order to post this because on my phone it is very difficult to type. And I am too exhausted to be able to even sit at a computer and type right now, my eyes aren't even open.
I am utterly and completely exhausted. When I try to stand up and walk very shaky and I I feel like I'm going to fall over like my knees will give way and Iegs will buckle. someone asked me today if I think it is my depression or the fibro that is making me so tired. And I questioned that myself because depression and exhaustion go hand in hand. But I want to get up and I want to do things around the house and I want to look for work. I think if it was a depression making me sleepy and wanting me and bad that I wouldn't want to do anything else. I've been there before.

A little peice of my mind

I bent over to get out a garbage bag from under the sink despite how much pain my back is in.  The pain and swelling in my arm goes up and down depending on how much I use the muscles.  My back just all of a sudden got the familiar sharp stabbing pain on the right side.

Anyway, I got out the garbage bag and started to tidy up the kitchen, tossing the rubbish in the bag meaning to move on to something else after that was done.  I left the garbage bag on the recycling bin near the door so I wouldn't need to bend over for it.

A few minutes ago I had made a snack for me to eat.  I planned to take my detox herbs when I was done.  I see some garbage that I missed and tossed it away.

The dish rack looks really dirty and I should clean it.  I moved on to putting away the few dishes that were still in the rack, some I had to put on the table in a pile because I can't reach the cupboards where they belong.

I see the snack I made sitting on the table and snatch it up.  I gobble it up and pull the juice out of the fridge.  I head off to the bathroom...potty break....!

The hall closet is open when I get out and I remember the dirty dish rack.  I sift through the cleaners on the shelf and settle on one.  I go to the kitchen to grab the dish rack, put it in the bottom of the tub and spray it with a good cleaner.

I put the cleaner back in the closet on my way to the kitchen to start getting the dishes ready to clean, or at least rinse.  When I get into the kitchen I see the juice container with the cap off sitting on the table waiting for a cup.  I had completely forgotten to take out a cup and take a pill.

When I say that I am losing my mind I am not being facetious.